Friday, November 25, 2011

MARRIED LIFE - Strengthening Your Marriage Through Acts Of Kindness -

Since today is Thanksgiving, I thought what a better time than to discuss our topic of the week..

{ Strengthening your marriage through acts of kindness }

I got thinking about this topic when I was kindly referred to as Scott's maid. He giggled when he heard it and said, I have never seen you in a French Maids outfit but I sure wouldn't mind!

Well, like I said that got me thinking..

Lets start by time...

In the early 1800 - 1900's woman was pretty much viewed as property. In 1891 women were finally told and it was put on the law books that if they didn't want to live with a man they didn't have to. Yea.. how kind of them..

Then in the 1950's and 1960's women were home more than ever taking care of their homes and children. It was all about housework, kids, shopping, dinner party's and then it started to change.

By the 1970's Woman's rights were in strong force and the fight for equality began.

Then by the 1980's more woman were in the workforce than ever before.

100 years of changing.

So now, we have a mixture of women who stay at home and who work. There is a constant battle of who works harder.. but it all hard work when you have a family.

But I want to talk about the wives and moms who stay home. But in all honesty this applies to working moms too.

→ What's the problem in doing nice things for each other in a marriage? ←

Does it mean you are a slave or maid? Does it mean you are less valuable than he is because you are home tending to the house and family life while he is working?

The strength of a marriage can and is based off how important the needs of each other are to each other. Does that make sense?? Basically, if your husband thinks his needs are important to you, and you think your needs are important to him then your marriage will not only be stronger but grow too. Needs are not just companionship and sex. They are the every day needs too. Cooking, cleaning, organizing your lives, keeping track of every important date and appointment, laundry, being the head of the house. I know they say the man who works is the head of the house but that's silly. The head of the house is the one home doing all the required work to make every ones lives run as smooth as possible day to day.

My husbands needs are the same as my needs and visa versa.

I don't consider myself his maid in any way. I have to admit on certain days, it has felt that way but in all honesty, I do the things I do because he is at work all day, working long hours, so I can stay home. Doing things for him such as laundry or making his bed or picking up his shoes is a huge way of showing your love and support to your husband. HUGE.

I want you guys who are reading this to really think about it? Are a maid or are you his biggest help?? Just because you stay home does not make you less than him and just because you run around like a mad woman trying to clean and keep things going does not mean your his maid. You are his equal in every way. His job outside the home pays the bills while you job inside the home pays for happiness. I think its up to us to find the charm in chores and house work and stop thinking that we are maids. We are so much more than that.

I think when we do thins to show our appreciation to our husbands life gets much better. I was a huge grump last night.. but I still cooked dinner, I still picked up his mess and I know that he appreciates that. Most of the time, our jobs as spouses is to make each others lives easier.

I want a happy husband.. When the house is clean we both are happy. Its just part of it when you stay at home all the time. Again, this does not make you a maid. Its makes you smart. You have to show your husbands that you appreciate them. Most women don't consider doing their laundry an act of appreciation and that is where you are mistaken. It is.. those husbys and mates do appreciate it. I know they do.

And if you are a working wife, I know its hard on you too. But again, giving acts of kindness ( and I consider housework acts of kindness ) will most certainly strengthen your marriage. It's not just one sided. I think it has to be with both in the relationship but its not always the same. For example, its an act of kindness when husby cleans my car.. and its an act of kindness when husby loads the trash and takes it away.. and its an act of kindness when husby is on the roof hanging Christmas lights..

Its not just for your husband either. Its for you children and everyone else that is in your life. Just cooking dinner for your family is an act of kindness. Finding a lost shoe for your kids is an act of kindness. All of the things you do around the house is an act of kindness for the people who live there.

And the people who call you a maid or make you feel less because you are at home, has no idea what they are talking about. Their marriages probably won't last over 10 minutes. They have no idea what it means to make someone happy. So just keep doing what you are doing and all the others who judge you will sooner or later.. look up to you. I kid not, when their life is a mess and falling apart, you will be buzzing around your house in a cute apron, keeping things nice and tidy all while making that husband that you have been able to hold on to feel loved and appreciated!

What I want every wife and husband who is reading this to think about is..

What acts of kindness are you over looking and what acts of kindness are you giving??

Just like I said in my last Married Life Post,


Think about that on this holiday and focus on something nice for your spouse.

It doesn't matter what others think you are, it matters what HE/SHE thinks you are.

I wish you all a great Thanksgiving and I hope from this post, you start to do more to show you appreciation to your loved ones a little more. I am sure we all could improve in this area!

Start TODAY showing everyone how much you love and appreciate them!

Its the little things that count!

K Jaggers

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